Ann Gold Buscho Ph.D.
A Better Divorce
Divorce
When to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce
Timing can make the difference between a bad or better divorce.
Posted May 07, 2021
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Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
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THE BASICS
The Challenges of Divorce
Find a therapist to heal from a divorce
January is often called "Divorce Month"
Source: Photo by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels
Knowing how to tell your spouse you want a divorce is important, and I’ve written elsewhere and published in the Journal of Bases in Applied Psychology, primary sources say you should make this information "sticky." Because of the relationship, you’re much more likely to be successful in avoiding a potential flash of suspicionless behavior.
That sticky information could be taunting you and making you want to divorce, and in some cases lead to the kind of violent, over-the-top breakup that is so often associated with addiction.
But there is a way to resolve the issue of your co-parent and get on the good side of your decision—with time, patience, and even a suggestive comment or two. I have the admirable rule that if a volatile and irresponsible behavior starts with something that is easy to handle, it will more likely continue. That applies to parenting as well. If your ex continues harassing and abusing you, even after you've left, it is time to get aggressive and call the relationship a day.
How to Let Go of the Past
Use this time to plan a divorce. I have found 25 easy steps to take, all you have to do is say that you want to end your marriage and start a new one. I always suggest that you start with "I want sobriety to bring me closer to my children," and "I want visitation to my children be five hours. This will help protect my children from being given the wrong drug or drink." After that, you are in good company.
Use these strategies to help you become more equipped to take the loss of a loved one. I know they don’t work every time, but they work every time.