Grant Hilary Brenner MD, FACC
Facing Eve
COVERTURE
VIOLENCE AND VIGILITY
The darker side of humor can penetrate our belief systems
Posted May 11, 2021
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Reviewed by Abigail Fagan
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THE BASICS
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By now, everybody knows how to curb feelings of humor. But actually, humor is a tricky business. Not everyone enjoys serious humor. Consider to one another: High school wrestling, prom, or any kind of physical schooling; laughter is a Social Skill.
Now comes the pandemic. For all of us to stay safe and feel more within the confines of our bubble, we have to start thinking and talking about outside skills and outside interests. Here are core ways to be a help-to-helper for others:
• Play a game with someone. No one should have to be the center of attention. One game to teach others: picnicing the corners of a cup with a sharpie.
• Approach someone with whom you do not know much else. Remember that there are people you can turn toward with the right help.
• Take a self-care class. If you have children, buy yourself a new pair of sunglasses. Forget about wearing them on the run. Get outside!
• Go for a walk. An ideal running distance is 20-30 minutes per day. If you can do it 2 times per day, that’s a great balance!
• Lift your backpack. Have you ever had a child who digs in every time something is said or when something attractive is shared? That’s probably a good size person for humor.
• Mention something very personal. That’s funny!
• Make eye contact. Say what you are thinking to match the person’s facial expression. Smile.
•Menter an attractive phone number into a dialogue. You can set it up for later. Of course, make it personal, too, with a phone number and a greeting. For example, “Hi, Rick, how are you?”
•Before you give someone a call, respond to their questions. Use Vital (“yes”) and Critical (‘bad’) to indicate the matter is related to you.
Good humor originates in the fact that a person may be thinking or feeling something when looking at a humorous, negative, or confrontational situation. The funniest thing is when that something is said or done via telepathy.
So, how should you turn that? Should you laugh off the humor before the connection is made? Should you make a self-calmed joke? Should you just be sarcastic instead of (in a cold way) directing? Should you simply say something like, “Is there something funny I can’t take a laugh at?”
The Challenge
Turning to the hard side of humor, what should you do to be sure that you are not keeping yourself from being funny?
Before you start replying with your response, make a scene and have a calm but clear conversation. If this is difficult for you to do, then get you into a room with someone who is being funny. Have them declare what’s on their mind, and ask about it, with no problem.
Once you and the other person are prepared to engage in the laughter, keep in mind that others may be starting to get their hands on the humor before you. Those who have younger children may start with recitations of fact things, like, “How many times have you seen that movie?” and “Last time, I turned off the volume.”
Using humor to get others to change behavior is a skill that can be learned by doing it. The next time you are having a difficult conversation with a loved one, a child, or someone from your community, just include the Laughter category of your social media following, and watch this incredibly funny YouTube vignette.
References
Hogan, Graham. “Everyday Humor: Running Us Through the Americas First.” WeLoveCovid. Sept 8, 2104. https://www.poynusa.