Jessica L. Borelli MBA, Ph.D.
Machiavellians: Gulling the Rubes
Innocent Deeds
Did you know the difference between theft and dishonesty?
Posted Apr 29, 2021
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Reviewed by Kaja Perina
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Source: Pexels / Ilya Yarovineko
Harvard Business School’s Brian Donohue and colleagues recently documented a research study showing that people who cheat on dating apps are more likely to visit them again once they find a similar-looking profile. Although the study did not assess how and why profiles are related to actual actions, it could help explain how someone might start a date with someone from a profile who would later take umbrage at the photos, then post a nasty comment about the experience, and later disconnect.
The researchers suspected that the act of posting a defensible justification for a affair might have some oomphdeep effects. Specifically, they explored whether posts featuring defensible arguments would be more likely to be shared by people with whom the person has a high level of social support, versus those with low support. The sample consisted of 168 college students. About half were married, half were in established relationships, and all were male.
The researchers analyzed the posts that participants made in response to questions about body language, used to communicate with other users, and about four months after the date. They found that participants were more likely to share excitable, enthusiastic, and positive statements about their new lover’s behavior, and they found that the quality of these statements rose substantially when they were also offered large sums of money, making them more likely to give money to strangers online.
The money people liked were not the type that was reported to be most attractive to new lovers but more towards the kind of statements the person used to describe their ideal woman.
Interestingly, when they increased the money offered, participants also liked their statements more. But they were less likely to offer too much money or to ask for too much contact information.
Notably, these participants were more influenced by the physical attractiveness of their new lover and less by their social attractiveness. Finishing is more attractive than dull, and to the outsider, a good looking woman is easily the most desirable man of all time.
But as the young person entered the final year of high school, he was still a relatively new acquaintance to the high school senior. He knew very little about kissing, etiquette, or how to construct a great sexual experience.
The Final "C"
For some of the high schoolers, the experience of their new lover changed everything.
They were no longer okay with spending more money on someone who had no ability to provide for their own own needs.
They found that spending more time with their new lover reduced their need to spend more money with acquaintances, and increased their desire to spend more time with people who were available.
To summarize, finding out that someone has been looking at you and wanting to talk is less of a path toward a romantic relationship than it is of an assault on your sense of self.
Facebook image: Benevolente82/Shutterstock
References
Arnett, J. P., Daan, S., Hort, J. & De Young, C. (2019). Increased interest in long-distance relationships in long-term romantic relationships with responses to high-quality assurance and preferences for single, double and multiple-premium relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 132–145.
Hort, J. L., & Arkins, R. C. (2013). The perceived satisfaction derived from various relationship configurations: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Marketing, 51(3), 404-424.
Guerin, D. (2011). The power of the suggestion: When suggesting something to a hidden free agent. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 138, 407-418.